Why adults have affairs?
Speak about a loaded subject that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on from the beginning of the world. Affairs can be fraught with troubles, cause sadness, and other troubles. In addition you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty issue, money, age dissimilarity, spiritual background, remorse, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, date married.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are women seeking an affair. I am conserned mostly though it is just the human state, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone are able to turn the craving on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos the world has erected against married dating. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but society also. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your spouse or anybody else? You will need to reduce the hazard you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest cluster, colossal really. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they are happy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to think about. Your assets are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An affair from time to time solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Neglect, sadly this is a frequent reason I fear. One or the other, usually the husband is sexually neglecting his woman for a number of reasons. As a man I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us males of romance, making them “hot milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, maybe caring is gone, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply developed separately, our relulas concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is conflicting of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair